I’ve noticed a sort of “postpartum depression” in church planters after the birth of their new church, between the second and fourth years of their planting journey. It happened to me too – and it nearly caused me to give up on my church planting dream.
It started with…
- Eagerness –In the months leading up to our first worship service I couldn’t wait to get to the regular rhythms of church ministry. I was tired of talking about ministry, I just wanted to do it!
Which led to…
- Optimism –Our first service went great; my attendance expectations were met, and our people seemed joyful. A few even gave their lives to Christ. Everything in our ministry seemed to be track.
Which led to…
- Surprise –As the weeks passed, our attendance numbers and our giving began to sag – a development that caught me completely off guard. In addition, people were more difficult to lead than I anticipated and some even were critical of my leadership! (Can you believe the nerve?!)
Which led to…
- Disorientation– Previously, every indicator I paid attention to confirmed (what I already believed) that my church was going to be great. I honestly hadn’t considered how I might respond if anything went wrong. I didn’t know what to do.
Which led to…
- Disbelief –I stuck my head in the sand and pretended the problems didn’t exist. I told others, “We’re doing great.” I was too prideful to seek help for the leadership and growth challenges the church was facing.
Which led to…
- Determination –When I finally admitted to myself that things weren’t going well, I convinced myself the problem could be solved by simply working harder. So, instead of addressing my own deficiencies as a leader, I plowed through, believing things eventually would get better – I just needed to work harder and sacrifice more.
Which led to…
- Frustration –Things didn’t get better. My weaknesses as a leader were haunting me at every turn. I was facing criticism from my team and began to believe the things they were saying about my incompetence. I started to abuse myself inwardly while maintaining a “poker face” with partners and ministry friends.
Which led to…
- Dissatisfaction –Before long I found myself unhappy and unmotivated in the basic work of church planting. Sharing the gospel, disciplining people, organizing events and meeting with leaders became a chore.
Which led to…
- Despair –The angst I was feeling seeped into my soul, affecting spiritual desires to talk to God and to hear from him. Desires that had been strong throughout my Christian life started to weaken. My passion to see God glorified through my life and work all but disappeared.
Which led to…
- Remorse –I started regretting the fact I attempted to start a church at all. I looked back on my initial zeal – and even my call to ministry – as youthful naivety. I became cynical about the future viability of the church. I gave up on people and projects at the first sign of struggle and lost energy for new initiatives and new relationships.
Which led to…
- Escape –I started considering various ways of escape. Could I just quit, move and cut off ties with all my previous acquaintances? Could I secretly look for a job and tell everyone the Lord had “called me away”? Could I broker a merger with another church then quietly slip away, laying the church down gently? If I could have found a way out – without ruining my reputation and disappointing those I loved – I would have.
Which led to…
- Acceptance –I couldn’t bring myself to pull the trigger on any of those options, so I just accepted my lot in life. I’d forever be the pastor of a tiny, cash-strapped, dysfunctional, portable church. That would be the price I’d pay for my inability to discern the will of God. I’d convince everyone that our church was small because I wanted it to be. “Large churches can’t disciple people. They are man-centered and unhealthy.” That’s what I’d say.
Which led to…
- Rhythm –My cynicism started to crack. I started to see small signs of God’s continued work in my life and through our church. Things weren’t great, but they weren’t terrible either. Instead of “striking out” in the missional batter’s box, I starting getting a “piece of the ball” ever now and then.
Which led to…
- Hope – It felt like spring. I was excited about ministry again. I hardly noticed the shift, but my wife and I were staying up late, talking through ideas. We were redreaming old dreams – aspirations that had been frozen in an icy block of despair for a long time.
Which led to…
- Contentment – Optimistic, yes, but no longer naive. Eager but sober. Kind of mature. The future of our church seemed bright and the season of difficulty a gift from a God.
So, why would I tell you this? What good could possibly come from you riding in the sidecar of my emotional roller coaster?
Two things:
- For church planters– If you are a church planter and find yourself in any of my experience, you should know that eventually the roller coaster pulls back into the station. Don’t give up. Remember, “the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” (Heb. 12:6)
- For those who support planters– If you know a church planter, attend a church plant or support a church planter, you should know there’s probably a lot more going on “under the hood” of his life than he’s letting on. God is shaping him into the man he needs for the task ahead. Encourage him, be honest with him and be patient with him.
Church Planter Morale in Years 1-5
(Not based on research, just my observations)
Published January 3, 2022
